Gujarati Moments of my life

Real moments of my life.

Gujju uncle to mom: Tamari baby bou single che...

Me(thinking): Of course single che, I am 15, do you expect me to be committed at such a young age?

Mom: Haa... Game tetalu khavdavo to pan patadi j rahe che!

Me(enlightened!): Oh... you mean slim.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Gujju girl to me: Hu 'what' aapi ne avi, te apyo?

Me: what???

Gujju girl(showing her index finger marked with ink): Arey 'what' yaar...

Me(enlightened again!): Oh! Vote...


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Scene: College AV room, gujju student presenting a topic to gujju sir.

Me - sleeping in the class room

Gujju student - presenting with ultra confidence

Gujju sir - looking for some reason to corner gujju student

Gujju Sir(loudly): But how does it know which John to use?

Gujju Student(Even louder): It does this polling and selects a John closer and perfect to use!!!

Me(wide awake and wondering): John? What is John doing in a computer science subject?

Gujju Sir(exasperated): And how do we know the John is the one to use?

Me extremely confused look up at the projected slide to realize our John is actually a... ZONE!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gujju Gal 1: Rujuta, mari jode peejho leva chalne...

Me(stumped): Peejho?

Gujju Gal 1: Haa peejho! Bou j bhukh lagi che...

Gujju Gal 2(whispering in my ears): She means pizza!

Me: OHHHH....! Chalo..!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Scene: Me and lighting guy discussing how to set lighting for an event.

Me: I want this particular area to be highlighted, the others lights must be off, only this area should be illuminated.

Lighting Guy: Ok ma'am, I will get fox lights to do the work.

Me: Are you sure, these fox lights will work?

Lighting Guy: Ofcourse ma'am they will, check this out!

Lighting guy demonstrated a spotlight thingy, and fox turned out to be the Gujarati version of FOCUS

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Scene: English classes going on in college. Professor has just asked the students to translate 'Mummy e jamavanu banavyu.' into English. Many hands are raised up to give the answer, professor selects one confident looking girl.

Professor: Yes, tell me the English of that sentence.

Girl(with lots and lots of confidence): Mother was cooked!

Me - the only student in class banging the desk and howling with laughter, as the confident girl stares defiantly not knowing where she went wrong...


Note: All of above incidences have been related here in the lightest of the light manner, even though if I have offended someone I am sorry. If you still feel offended, go find yourself some good sense of humor. 

About cats, classes and X-Men!

"So, what do you do in these Catechism classes..?"

"Well... they teach us about Jesus, and bible and prayers, and we watch movies about Jesus' life, and learn new songs and all that!"

"Oh... I thought they teach you how to catch cats!!!"


Yes, I actually had this conversation with a boy in my class when I was at school. I don't remember exactly in which year, but I assure you we both were no more than 10years old. Oh those lovely innocent days of childhood! Since I studied in a convent school, catholic students had a special catechism class every week. I remember feeling all special and different, leaving behind most of my classmates to go attend that half an hour of separate teachings with the select few.

I was ever so proud to be different, to know more about Jesus Christ than the rest of my classmates, to belong to a slightly different group, to have regular confessions and prayers and re-re-re-re-re-screening of Jesus of Nazareth to look forward to, to know how to recite 'Hail Mary..' in addition to the 'Our father' that the rest of my class knew. I loved being privileged.

But as I grew older, I loathed being different, I had this desire to blend in, to be just like every one else. I did not want to be 'Christian' and tell the truth all the time, just to end up earning ridicule from my friends. I did not want to show off how many prayers I knew, in fact, I did not want to show I prayed at all, what would the others think?

I started up catching the worldly cats instead, no more feeling special, proud, chosen. And once when I was recalling my childhood days, the above mentioned memory came into my mind! I want back that pride, that feeling of being special, of showing off to the world that I know Christ and I am different.

A dialog from X-Men: First Class comes to my mind.

Mutant! And proud!.

I want to say:

Christian! And Proud!

I was able to open my eyes today

I was able to open my eyes today,

Because someone prayed for me last night.

I traveled to my workplace without meeting with an accident,

Because my guardian angel was by my side.

I was able to sleep under two blankets,

Because my parents earned it for my comfort.

I have a steady job today,

Because I was lucky enough to receive education.

I have my meals today

Because someone cares to provide me

I have clothes to wear today

Because someone, somewhere sewed it up.

I am not walking bare feet today

For my ancestors kept evolving new ways to protect my feet

Today, I can freely express my thoughts

Because those born before me made this a free country

So many people, so many strangers

Made me what I am.

How can I still call myself

A self made person…?

5 Ideas to make Christmas Special

Here are 5 ideas to turn your Christmas into an extra special day...

1. Have a home made family dinner: Get the family together, and dine on home cooked meals, which are prepared together with the family members. Make the cooking and dining a fun experience and get together with your loved ones to share the special time.

2. Send anonymous gifts: Be a Santa! Send a gift to someone you know who has been keeping down, or is not well, or someone who is not expecting a gift. Send the gift anonymously. Do not forget to give something really good, something that the receiver would really appreciate, it need not be something expensive or very flashy, just something that cheers the other up. What makes Christmas better than making Christmas better for others! And I promise, deep down you feel very good.

3. Call friends instead of SMSing them: How dry would the wishes be if we just SMS our friends on the Christmas day! Call them, all of them, and wish them a very Merry Christmas, in a very merry voice. Forget the bills and balance for a while, and live the Christmas spirit!(And anyway, I think the mobile carriers will charge on 25th, so why not make a call instead.)

4. Watch 'A Christmas Carol' with your friends and family: A very well made movie indeed. Even though it is an animation film, it will capture the attention of a mature audience as well. The movie will surely help us to look back at our lives and change it for good. (Though I won't recommend it to kids younger than 10, some scenes are scary.)

5. Pray for a better year ahead: No, I do not mean the 30 second, close your eyes, clamp your hands together, "God please..." type of a prayer. Pray all day long, while working, cooking, cleaning, greeting, smiling, sleeping, dancing, whatever you may be doing, keep communicating with Jesus, in the depth of your heart, open up yourself, and share your fears about the coming year, your expectations, your shortcomings. Just keeping talking, praying, asking, sharing.

Hope you have a Very Merry Christmas!

Holy Spirit - The Bubble Wrap

Wrap yourself up with our superior quality bubble wrap, Holy Spirit, The Bubble Wrap!

Made with special high strength transparent plastic of God's love, the bubble wrap has special equidistant bubbles of grace.

Wrap your fragile self fully in it, and then forget all your worries...

If you fall, the special grace bubbles will pop to protect you by releasing the graces and saving you from bruising.

The transparent God's love plastic is soft, strong and flexible, to allow you ample mobility without falling apart or leaving the bubble wrap confinements.

It not only protects you, but also assists you in all your work. The Holy Spirit guides, teaches, intercedes, gives life, so wrap yourself up!

And there's more! All this comes with an Eternal Lifetime Warranty!!!

So, what are you waiting for, grab your share of Holy Spirit, Bubble Wrap today...

This ad was brought to you by Jesus, your Friend Inc. For more details kindly refer to John 14:26, Luke 12:12, Rom. 8:26, Matt. 4:1, John 6:63, Acts 2:4. Holy Spirit is delivered freely to open doors!

10 Out of the Box New Year Resolution Ideas

Well, as the New Year approaches, most of us will be looking forward to making those great New Year resolutions that will change our lives for good. But as it turns out many a times, New Year resolutions don’t stick around too well. But maybe the resolutions don’t work because we might me changing wrong things.

Whatever maybe the reason for the new-year-resolution-fail syndrome, here’s a list that is well beyond the regular, tried and tested (and broken) resolutions. Try making one of these resolutions, if it sticks, great! If it doesn’t, well it won’t make much of a difference.

1. I will buy things in dozens: Since its 2012 you know, buying things in dozen to live the spirit of 12! Whether it is bananas or grapes, or shoes or even cars, everything bought in the year ’12 should be either 12 in number or a multiple of it!

2. I will say sorry before shouting out in rage, instead of after: Somehow, it’s a really cool change! Imagine you are totally mad at a friend who dropped cola on your favorite shirt, you just say a meek sorry(works even better if you say sorry before your friend can say it) and then start at the top voice with anger and rage, your friend won’t know what hit him/her.

3. I will sing 12days of Christmas every day: 12 days, 12 months, 2012. It all matches, and by the end of the year, you will finally have the lyrics memorized.

4. I will say ‘Rabbits’ out of the blue: Or any cute animal that you like. Shout ‘Rabbits!’ when you are at work, or in the middle of a conversation, in a phone call instead of ‘Hello’, let’s spread cute little rabbits everywhere!

5. I will re-arrange the pizza toppings: Take off the mushroom and the corn isn’t just rightly placed, remove every topping and re-arrange it in an artistic way. Get creative. Bonus points if the pizzeria hires you!

6. I will stop eating anything purple in color: Means no eggplants, no yam, and no any other freaky purple colored disgusting tasting food!!! Now that’s one resolution worth keeping

7. I will wear mismatched clothes once in every month: Mismatch colors, or styles, or even silhouettes, or maybe all three of them! Wear crazy stuff at least once every month, you may never know it might even start of a new trend.

8. I will be a movie spoiler: Go watch a  movie alone, and then go watch it again with your friends, but don’t forget to give away spoilers, reveal the climax before hand, show the twists, repeat the dialogs and kill their fun, and have yours. Oh! But beware of getting a black eye.

9. I will take bath in cold water all year: Now, this one is an immunity and character building type of a resolution. No hot water, not even warm water, just cold tap water. Will make you strong(or you will fall sick!) and also sensitize you about the poor homeless who don’t have ready access to hot water.

10. I will communicate only in 1337(LEET): Whether it is mails, chats or blogposts, all written communication from 1^st January,2012 should be done in LEET. &  `/  n07,   \/\/3 Я   7|-|3  (0/\/\|>(_)73Я  63/\/3 Я@7!0/\/

So, which resolution are you going to choose?

Tweeting on the Toilet Seat

Presenting another hit from...
Broad B@nd


Dark circles undr eyes
N I've got weak bones
M tweeting on d toilet seat
4m my iPhone

M connectd 2 all, i knw..
Wen dey laugh,wen dey moan
M tweeting on the toilet seat
From my iPhone

Oh jst luk @ dis video
my baby bro licking ice-cream cone
M tweeting on the toilet seat
From my iPhone

Alwys plugd in, alwys onlyn
We're turnin in2 clones
M tweeting on the toilet seat
From my iPhone
       

P.S: This obviously is a figment of my imagination... But the lyrics are my own so DON'T TOUCH! And yes, it is a bit sarcastic...