Gujarati Moments of my life

Real moments of my life.

Gujju uncle to mom: Tamari baby bou single che...

Me(thinking): Of course single che, I am 15, do you expect me to be committed at such a young age?

Mom: Haa... Game tetalu khavdavo to pan patadi j rahe che!

Me(enlightened!): Oh... you mean slim.


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Gujju girl to me: Hu 'what' aapi ne avi, te apyo?

Me: what???

Gujju girl(showing her index finger marked with ink): Arey 'what' yaar...

Me(enlightened again!): Oh! Vote...


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Scene: College AV room, gujju student presenting a topic to gujju sir.

Me - sleeping in the class room

Gujju student - presenting with ultra confidence

Gujju sir - looking for some reason to corner gujju student

Gujju Sir(loudly): But how does it know which John to use?

Gujju Student(Even louder): It does this polling and selects a John closer and perfect to use!!!

Me(wide awake and wondering): John? What is John doing in a computer science subject?

Gujju Sir(exasperated): And how do we know the John is the one to use?

Me extremely confused look up at the projected slide to realize our John is actually a... ZONE!

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Gujju Gal 1: Rujuta, mari jode peejho leva chalne...

Me(stumped): Peejho?

Gujju Gal 1: Haa peejho! Bou j bhukh lagi che...

Gujju Gal 2(whispering in my ears): She means pizza!

Me: OHHHH....! Chalo..!

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Scene: Me and lighting guy discussing how to set lighting for an event.

Me: I want this particular area to be highlighted, the others lights must be off, only this area should be illuminated.

Lighting Guy: Ok ma'am, I will get fox lights to do the work.

Me: Are you sure, these fox lights will work?

Lighting Guy: Ofcourse ma'am they will, check this out!

Lighting guy demonstrated a spotlight thingy, and fox turned out to be the Gujarati version of FOCUS

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Scene: English classes going on in college. Professor has just asked the students to translate 'Mummy e jamavanu banavyu.' into English. Many hands are raised up to give the answer, professor selects one confident looking girl.

Professor: Yes, tell me the English of that sentence.

Girl(with lots and lots of confidence): Mother was cooked!

Me - the only student in class banging the desk and howling with laughter, as the confident girl stares defiantly not knowing where she went wrong...


Note: All of above incidences have been related here in the lightest of the light manner, even though if I have offended someone I am sorry. If you still feel offended, go find yourself some good sense of humor. 

Floaty Boat

I was walking down the longily long road that did not turn left as it was turning right. And up came the fightorators, carrying bullet-shooters under their arms, looking for the robbery-doer on the run.

I stopped one of them, to ask, "Sir, where do you go? To the river, to the park, or to the tavern on the road?"

"Kid,",he answered, "We go neither to the river, nor to the park, nor to the tavern on the road. We hunt for the robbery-doer, a man with a large nose, and with blue timpy boots, a hat on the head and a gold chain around the neck. He hides in the forested jungle, says so our source."

"So you go there", said I, "to capture him and take back the chain. But what if he is armed, in similar fashion like you, with a bullet-shooter under his arm?"

"Nay, we know, he carries no arms. We took his swiglly sword and his ficklye bow, and now we shall the gold chain too. So move on kid, we need to go."


And so he left, with other fightorators, and I came back home, I did not know whether I should have told them, that I had seen a man with a large nose, and with blue timpy boots, a hat on the head and a gold chain around the neck, just crossing the river in a floaty-boat!

Broad B@nd~ A Band of Computer Engineers....

Presenting a band made of computer engineers... Here's the lyrics to their first worldwide hit....
Put your hands together for....
Broad B@nd


        Oh I need to meet the deadline
        Gotta make this code work fine
       
        The requirements and specifications don't match
        Yet I am paid twice my worth, so whats the catch?
        Me, the bestest student of my batch
        Now am sitting on a design egg
        Dunno when it'll hatch
       
        Oh I need to meet the deadline
        Gotta make this code work fine
       
        The Gantt Chart is made, still dunno what to do
        200 lines of code, what it does, no clue
        Oh I am suffering with pre-development blues
        sleepless nights! sleepless nights!
        Got that funky UI! PHEW....
       
        Oh I need to meet the deadline
        Gotta make this code work fine
       
        The launching day is here, they say
        I've worked on this project night and day
        My baby application will take its first steps today
        I squeal, I dance, like a 3 year old
        Some like, some don't, who cares what they bray.
       
        Oh I finally met the deadline
        And am sure my code works fine!(?)
       

P.S: This obviously is a figment of my imagination... But the lyrics are my own so DON'T TOUCH! Oh, and I am not paid twice my worth, I am one of those under paid, over worked employees....