Thursday, December 8, 2011

Holy Spirit - The Bubble Wrap

Wrap yourself up with our superior quality bubble wrap, Holy Spirit, The Bubble Wrap!



Made with special high strength transparent plastic of God's love, the bubble wrap has special equidistant bubbles of grace.

Wrap your fragile self fully in it, and then forget all your worries...

If you fall, the special grace bubbles will pop to protect you by releasing the graces and saving you from bruising.

The transparent God's love plastic is soft, strong and flexible, to allow you ample mobility without falling apart or leaving the bubble wrap confinements.

It not only protects you, but also assists you in all your work. The Holy Spirit guides, teaches, intercedes, gives life, so wrap yourself up!

And there's more! All this comes with an Eternal Lifetime Warranty!!!


So, what are you waiting for, grab your share of Holy Spirit, Bubble Wrap today...


This ad was brought to you by Jesus, your Friend Inc. For more details kindly refer to John 14:26, Luke 12:12, Rom. 8:26, Matt. 4:1, John 6:63, Acts 2:4. Holy Spirit is delivered freely to open doors!


Wednesday, December 7, 2011

10 Out of the Box New Year Resolution Ideas


Well, as the New Year approaches, most of us will be looking forward to making those great New Year resolutions that will change our lives for good. But as it turns out many a times, New Year resolutions don’t stick around too well. But maybe the resolutions don’t work because we might me changing wrong things.

Whatever maybe the reason for the new-year-resolution-fail syndrome, here’s a list that is well beyond the regular, tried and tested (and broken) resolutions. Try making one of these resolutions, if it sticks, great! If it doesn’t, well it won’t make much of a difference.

  1. I will buy things in dozens: Since its 2012 you know, buying things in dozen to live the spirit of 12! Whether it is bananas or grapes, or shoes or even cars, everything bought in the year ’12 should be either 12 in number or a multiple of it!

  1. I will say sorry before shouting out in rage, instead of after: Somehow, it’s a really cool change! Imagine you are totally mad at a friend who dropped cola on your favorite shirt, you just say a meek sorry(works even better if you say sorry before your friend can say it) and then start at the top voice with anger and rage, your friend won’t know what hit him/her.

  1. I will sing 12days of Christmas every day: 12 days, 12 months, 2012. It all matches, and by the end of the year, you will finally have the lyrics memorized.

  1. I will say ‘Rabbits’ out of the blue: Or any cute animal that you like. Shout ‘Rabbits!’ when you are at work, or in the middle of a conversation, in a phone call instead of ‘Hello’, let’s spread cute little rabbits everywhere!

  1. I will re-arrange the pizza toppings: Take off the mushroom and the corn isn’t just rightly placed, remove every topping and re-arrange it in an artistic way. Get creative. Bonus points if the pizzeria hires you!

  1. I will stop eating anything purple in color: Means no eggplants, no yam, and no any other freaky purple colored disgusting tasting food!!! Now that’s one resolution worth keeping

  1. I will wear mismatched clothes once in every month: Mismatch colors, or styles, or even silhouettes, or maybe all three of them! Wear crazy stuff at least once every month, you may never know it might even start of a new trend.

  1. I will be a movie spoiler: Go watch a  movie alone, and then go watch it again with your friends, but don’t forget to give away spoilers, reveal the climax before hand, show the twists, repeat the dialogs and kill their fun, and have yours. Oh! But beware of getting a black eye.


  1. I will take bath in cold water all year: Now, this one is an immunity and character building type of a resolution. No hot water, not even warm water, just cold tap water. Will make you strong(or you will fall sick!) and also sensitize you about the poor homeless who don’t have ready access to hot water.

  1. I will communicate only in 1337(LEET): Whether it is mails, chats or blogposts, all written communication from 1st January,2012 should be done in LEET. &  `/  n07,   \/\/3 Я   7|-|3  (0/\/\|>(_)73Я  63/\/3 Я@7!0/\/
So, which resolution are you going to choose?

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Tweeting on the Toilet Seat

Presenting another hit from...
Broad B@nd


Dark circles undr eyes
N I've got weak bones
M tweeting on d toilet seat
4m my iPhone

M connectd 2 all, i knw..
Wen dey laugh,wen dey moan
M tweeting on the toilet seat
From my iPhone

Oh jst luk @ dis video
my baby bro licking ice-cream cone
M tweeting on the toilet seat
From my iPhone

Alwys plugd in, alwys onlyn
We're turnin in2 clones
M tweeting on the toilet seat
From my iPhone
       

P.S: This obviously is a figment of my imagination... But the lyrics are my own so DON'T TOUCH! And yes, it is a bit sarcastic...

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

How 'catholic' are we?

Have you ever noticed how every person who stands while you are kneeling during a mass is devil's minion and how every person who genuflects while you kneel is a hypocrite?

Everybody has a set of ideas about spirituality. Some may pray only in trouble, others all the time, some might yell at the top of their voice while singing a hymn(even though they may not know the lyrics or the tune), others may just be happy listening to the choir.

I remember getting the puked up feeling whenever I saw someone breaking down in tears while making a prayer(and many a times it was accompanied by the sound of sucking the snot in!), I also remember snorting at the altar servers; who would turn up sometimes even an hour early and fight among themselves to be the servers for the mass. An most of all I hated the distracting babies who just wouldn't let me pray in peace. Oh how I wished the parents would leave their wailing infants and fussy toddlers at home!

I had my set of rules, my style of praying, my way of behaving, my way of saying the prayers(loud and frequently punctuated with intonations). I thought, mine and only mine was the way that was truly catholic(or atleast was more catholic than others).

But then I encountered something that changed my whole outlook. I was sitting with a dictionary one day, trying to find some new word, and suddenly I wondered whether the dictionary had a definition of catholic.

And guess what, there actually was a definition, and it took me by shock!

catholic(n): all embracing, universal

I sat there, staring at the words. Catholic... All embracing... Universal... 

Slowly it dawned on me that my faith, and the faith of others was the same, the universal faith, and that being catholic was to embrace all those who shared my faith even if they had a different way of expressing it.

So now I don't shudder at the emotional person's crying prayer, nor do I wrinkle my nose on the parents who want to attend the mass and bring their children too so that they may learn something. I no longer mock the loud 'hallelujah' nor do I cringe at the old lady's nasal rendition of a hymn. Because for each of them it is a form of prayer, a form of offering to God, a way to communicate to Him.

Now I have a catholic approach towards my diverse friends in Christ, because they are diverse in expression, not in FAITH.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

What are we ashamed of...

Why am I not ashamed of showing abusive hand gestures, but feel embarrassed to use the sign of the cross?

Why am I not ashamed of singing aloud a song with raunchy lyrics, but blush if caught humming a hymn?

Why am I not ashamed of slapping someone publicly but lack the courage to apologize even in private?

Why am I not ashamed of wearing t-shirts carrying obscene messages but hide the cross around my neck?

Why am I not ashamed of spreading rumors to debase someone but shy away from spreading the Good News?

Why am I not ashamed of hearing a dirty joke but wouldn't want to be caught dead listening to religious podcast?

Why am I not ashamed of reading a racy novel again and again, but feel embarrassed to be seen with a bible?


Oh, I could list many more! What kind of culture do I live in, where every condemnable act is commended and the fine art of practicing a religion is frowned upon!

It is 'cool' and 'hip' to sprinkle a talk with as many abuses as possible(and no I am not talking about the occasional rant) and it is a 'fad' to dress up as cheaply as can be allowed(cheap not in cost, cheap means tasteless and vulgar) among the youth and many who have well surpassed the age to be called a youth.

Call it peer pressure or attack of media or blame it on globalization or whatever else that pleases you, but the fact remains that in today's age, more than in any other time or age of this world, is it possible to behave in filthy way and get applauded for it too!

The question which arises is that how is the broadening of our mind and freedom leading us to lewd and profane lifestyle, why and how can the educated and seemingly wise world can't even differentiate between what is good and what is not and still boast of advancement and progress?

And what kind of a progress is it indeed, if it takes us back to being primitive and senseless!


I am young, educated, liberated. So why am I so very much ashamed of doing the right and the good and why don't I give a second thought before something crude!

Luke 9:26 If anyone is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when he comes in his glory and in the glory of the Father and of the holy angels.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

My Date with Time



Time and I were walking down the Memory Lane, one nice evening, and the air was cool and wispy. We entered the Garden of Past, full of fragrant and multicoloured flowers of achievements, and thorns of past regrets, glittering milestones of proud moments and pebbles of forgotten time-spans, and in the center of the garden was a pond.

He led me to it, and we sat down on a bench next to the pond, for a while we were silent. I noticed that even though there was no wind, the water in the pond kept flowing and moving around, forming small waves.

"That is the Pond of Thoughts", said Time, "It waters the flowers of Past Achievements and thorns of Past Regrets, though it cannot change the milestones and pebbles, it does keep the other two quite fresh!"

"The pond contains the thoughts of those", he went on, "who dwell on their past mistakes or glorious moments, who are either sulking around because the thorns prick them, or walking a foot higher because the flowers they had sown are beautiful."

Saying this, he got up and started walking, I followed, deeper we went into the garden, and the scene before my eyes slowly changed, from the lush Garden of Past, we had moved onto the Field of Present, there I saw huge oxen tilling a part of the land, the other part was dry and barren, with a dried out river bed adjoining it. The part where the oxen had already ploughed was being watered by rain.

I was still taking in the bizarreness of all this, when Time pointed out, "Look! Do you see that...?" I looked in the direction he was pointing at, and there I saw a beautiful rainbow, it slowly grew and covered the entire land, tilled or not tilled, fertile or barren, under its giant colourful bow.

"That is the Rainbow of Hope.", said Time with a kind smile,"It covers the entire Field of Present and also a bit of the Garden of Past and it extends towards the Void of Future!" I was still staring, my eyes wide open at the Field of Present. I wanted to asked him why only half the land was being tilled, why was the river dry and why was it raining only in a particular area and not on the entire land?

His gazed followed mine as I was looking at the dried river bed and slowly he spoke,"Ah! The River of Productive Thoughts, how dry it has become!" I looked at him, confused; he went on further explaining, "It is here where it all begins, The River of Productive Thoughts, it waters the barren land and makes it bring out produce with the Oxen of Perseverance, which is then watered by the rain of Graces from Above. But alas! You see, all the water has been pooled in the Pool of Thoughts we saw in the Garden of Past. And thus those who are busy pondering on past events have not been able to produce anything in the present."

"Close your eyes, hold my hand, I have got a surprise for you!", he added. I did what I was told, I closed my eyes and held his hand and he started leading me towards an unknown destination. We walked silently for a while and then he stopped abruptly, I could here faintly some music being played.

"Open your eyes", he whispered.

I opened my eyes, and what I saw was beyond words or comprehension.I was standing on nothing, no ground below, no sky above and all around me was plain void. In this void there was something happening all the time, swirls of colours mixing and merging, beautiful flowers being created from fire in a second and destroyed in the next, trees being formed from saplings in an instant only to be replaced by birds of various colours, shapes and size.

In every fraction of a second something was being created form nothing and destroyed. Every thing was changing so fast, so often. It seemed if I blinked I would miss an eternity worth of actions. All was like a long lasting explosion of fireworks which just never ended. This endless vision of creation and destruction of various things was what occupied both of us.

With great effort I turned my eyes towards Time, looking at him I asked,"This is the most beautiful place I have ever seen. What is this place?"

Without taking his eyes off the activities he replied,"The Void of Future. No one can come here, no one knows this place except me. It is an ever changing, ever evolving place. Nothing here is fixed or permanent, nor can anything stay here. But the visions you see are formed from Actions. They do control the Void of Future in a partial way. Actions! Wonderful Actions, see how they create things and destroy them, see how they make and mar the Future, see how they affect the Void of Future by ever changing visions."

We stood, gazing at the Void of Future. Then he spoke again,"Do you want to see where I live?" I nodded and closed my eyes without his asking. We walked again.

And we stopped. I opened my eyes and saw that I was inside a huge hall made of the finest marble. And it had several windows, some looking at the Garden of Past, others at the Field of Present, while a wide sole window was dedicated to stare at the Void of Future.

"Here, is where I live. Forever", said Time.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Fashinable God...



Fashion! Oh Fashion! How various thy guise, how colorful thy visage, how ardent thy students!!!

It is just impossible for me atleast to always find the perfect match for a garment.There are still a lot of unmatched orphan pieces hidden deep inside my wardrobe, waiting to see the daylight.

Fashion is ever changing, there is a Fashion Week every week it seems, colors, palettes, seasons, collections, cuts and silhouettes and what not. Not even world class fashion designers are 100% able to produce good combinations all the time.

There is always this one piece too big or too small, one shade of color that did not match perfectly enough. Some art works of Fashionable Clothing are admired, others just euphemistically 'hmmmm'ed away.

Fall/Winter collections are coming up next, every season has a color. And I was hunting for a perfect fashion master who can create and merge different hues and cuts: none clashing the other. And I found one!

In our God! So blind was I not to see him. As I sat one evening admiring the sunset, the various colors of the sky astounded me. There was this benign sky blue and a hint of purple, a dash of orange, a queer shade of yellow for which I have no name, and amidst this all a bright orange sun, about to set over Indian skies and preparing to rise somewhere else.

I sat there mesmerized, why doesn't my blue ever match with an orange? The harmony between these different shades was beyond words. I would never dare wear anything that has blue and violet and orange and yellow and bright orange all in one fabric. If I did dare to, I am sure the effect just wouldn't be the same.

God does know how to match colors. the butterflies and the flowers and the leaves changing color according to the season too(din't know trees too had their own fall/winter collection!). Tiny shining stars on a pitch black sky, ultimate night wear! And oh how every tree, every leaf is a different green and still all the shades put together makes one beautiful vista

And those snow capped mountains, well they can give any fur capped model a run for her money. Not to mention the many feathered birds and those exotic sea animals. Reminds me of a verse in the Bible(with a tinge of jealousy)

"And why worry about clothes? Look how the wild flowers grow: they do not work or make clothes for themselves. But I tell you that not even King Solomon with all  his wealth had clothes as beautiful as on one of these flowers" Mt 6:28,29

So well while human creations(which generally imitate those from the nature) of clothing have become more and more exotic and beautiful, owing to a lot of new fabrics and ways to cut, color and tailor the clothing, it is still juvenile in its attempt to reach the level of our uber cool, ultra fashionable GOD.

But do not be disheartened, that same fashioned savvy God, fashion you and me too. We are all worthy of a ramp walk!